I often hear people complain about the “pickleball advice” they receive. “I am always being yelled at to get to the line”…”I’m constantly being told what to do”…”I can feel my partner’s eyes roll”.
What I love about pickleball
One of the things that I love about pickleball is that it can be inclusive and welcoming. But there are times when I’m around players that are just unkind. In some ways, I find this surprising, because most of the people I play with are adults. And you would think that they know how to treat people on and off the court. When I encounter such people I simply won’t be around them anymore. Of course, I realize that is probably easier for me.
Going to the Local Court
Too often people feel they are under constant scrutiny when they go to play on a local court. I realize that a lot of people think they are helping when they tell their partner what to do. But often it may not be heard the way it was intended. A player may be there just to relax and play…and is not open to the pickleball advice. Often the player offering advice is not fully aware of the way in which they are speaking to their partner.
I am often on the court and want to give advice to the players around me. But if I am not asked I do not say anything. I try to play a supportive role first. I encourage the other player and always point out the things they are doing well.
Instincts and Trust
When teaching pickleball there is not black and white..there is always a lot of grays. Everyone is a little different, whether it be their age or body type or athletic ability. After a clinic the other day a woman came up to me and said, “Thank you for giving me permission to go with my instincts. I get yelled at every day.”
Her comment really upset me. First, no one should be made to feel that way over a game! But also, what made me the player I am today was trusting myself and my instincts. Early in my pickleball learning curve, I was told how to do some things that didn’t make sense to me. I had to trust myself and figure out a lot of things. Sometimes I had to remind myself to have confidence in myself … that I could work it out.
difficult situations
Last week I had to have a talk with one of my playing partners and good friends. I told her I didn’t want her to talk down to herself anymore on the court. Whether or not she realized it, it was affecting how the whole group played. She would sometimes get frustrated and on occasion throw her paddle. Then someone in the group would try to “help” her…and such pickleball advice would often only make it worse. I realized her actions were beginning to influence other people in our club. I took her aside and asked, “If a new player sees you throwing your paddle…what is to stop them from doing the same thing?”
The Hardest thing
Sometimes it is easier to offer pickleball advice than do the hardest thing…that is, just support our partner. Sometimes a simple 
paddle tap is more effective than coaching them through the match. For most of us, pickleball is simply a fun hobby. It isn’t a job. For the vast majority of us, playing does not affect our income … so let’s just have fun. And if you see someone getting a little down on themselves find time to say “Good shot!”
